That little thing called loyalty

Truth is, I would rather hurt myself then hurt someone else.

Ah, So trapped!

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada

I have been feeing trapped lately, I love Canada but I am also ready to move on..there is that little problem that I am a bad saver..I live a comfortable life..but if I want to just pack up and leave..I kind of can't. That has to change I know, I find that when I a ready to leave, I can become an awesome saver..But that is why I have that trapped feeling now, I am ready to leave, but now I need to save, not to mention the fact that I still am kind of living to please others and not doing what I truly want, oh man, I cannot explain the thoughts going though my head right now, so much stuff that I want to do, things to see, places to go..people to meet. I can completly relate to the Jackson Browne song Running on Empty right now..its not about working your butt off and being tired, it is about travel and moving though life, doing so much yet still feeling like there is so much more to acheive.

5 ways to freak out your new house mates

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada

I am not the most normal person, I start out very quiet but its not long before people think im a total nutcase..I wonder why?

Presenting my Top 5 ways to freak out new housemates..tried and tested by yours truly :D (I wonder why they never invite me out...?)

Stalk them in the supermarket and try to pick their pocket

Reaction = “What the hell?...Chani?”

Stand over them as they sleep, as soon as they wake up show them something weird you are excited about, like a double stalked mushroom!

Reaction = “Huh, oh that's good..that was creepy” (later that night house mates were talking about it)

When talking about what you might do for the night say, “ah man I get so bored, sometimes I just go home and cut my wrists..”

Reaction = blank stare.. “I am kidding..” I say. House mate wide eyed “Why the hell would you say something like that!?”

If for any reason they have a box, in my case house mate had bought some furniture from Ikea, jump in it and ask them to push you around as if its a boat.

Reaction = awkward laugh from all house mates “I think you have been spending too much time with the bear”

Come home super excited and talking non stop about something you just bought from the supermarket (I used reduced sugar chocolate milk) hold it up blocking their view of the TV and talk about it as if you are an ad.

Reaction = “Are you sure that's reduced sugar?” .. More weird stares

So there you have it, try some of these tonight and you will be making friends in no time!!!

What a difference the sun makes.

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada.

Ah, today I write this blog whilst sitting outside, its awesome. Its late in the evening and the ice hockey final is on. The Vancouver Canucks are in against Boston Bruins, so of course all the good Canadians are glued to their T. Vs right now, I'm sitting outside enjoying the warm weather that is finally here. As an Australian I think I can be excused from the festivities, it is no AFL game. 

From where I sit I have an almost 360 degree view of the snow capped mountains, it has been a bit slow to melt this year, but its happening. It looks absolutely amazing with the sun beginning to set on them casting a nice mix of shadow and light. Would get a photo but I still haven't found my adaptor to charge my Aussie battery in Canada.

Today after a long walk in the sun I finally found a running route I liked, I don't like running on flat ground, I like hills and uneven surfaces and what I had been running on was just too flat with only a little uphill and it really did not get me in the running mood. I stumbled upon another trail, so now, connecting the new one and the one I already had, it is a brilliant moderate 50 minute run. Perfect for days when I want to get my heart rate up but not do it tough. So my 2 week lapse of when I had to leave my running partner behind in Calgary and only managing to get out a handful of times is over, I have found my passion to run again, and it feels great, my mind is so clear and satisfied now I have done a great run on a great trail in GREAT weather.  Warrior Dash here I come!

Ch ch ch Changes

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada

I find it very interesting to read back on past blogs, little things I write in my diary (one of the many diaries I start and never finish) or even finding little things scribbled on bits of paper, sometimes I can't even remember why I wanted to remember a particular thing.

Sometimes I will be in straight out denial, that even though its written on paper by my own sober hand "There is no way I ever liked that boy!" and the paper gets screwed up and tossed to the trash.

For some reason I have an obsession with writing down the first things I ate drank and saw,for the new year or after a birthday, things that other people may find boring but for me, I wish I had done it more often.

In 20 years time will I still remember I liked a certain thing? How much will things have changed? We forget the little things everyday, the little things that may make us really happy even for a few minutes of our lives. So I think we should all take the time to write down the little things. Fav song of the moment, movie you just saw, what your fav meal is, who your "in love with", the friends you have now and why they are your friends and see how it changes over the years. I think the friends one will be really interesting.

The Self and Doubt

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada.

Ah, Its that feeling again, you know the one, that feeling of self doubt. Have you ever wanted something so bad, that when you do get it, your first moments are jubilation but then comes that feeling?

You put on a brave face and keep smiling but deep down, you are constantly worrying and over thinking things.

I wanted a job so bad, I got it. Yay Me! But now every second I feel like something is going to happen and it will get taken away from me, I feel as though I don't deserve it or that I'm going to disappoint, maybe I was hired because they thought I was something; then I come along and they are like, What was I thinking??

I'm constantly over thinking things through at work, I may think of doing something or saying something, then I think, maybe I shouldn't then it turns out I should have. Its a constant sick feeling.

I know I will get over the feeling and settle into things, but for now, while that feeling is here I guess I shall just ride the waves and soon I will forget I ever felt this way. My job is amazing and challenging and I feel so honored to be apart of it.

On a brighter note, fllowing up from last post, I did eat breakfast after dinner, I was hoping it would give me that tired feeling, maybe my brain would associate my eating breakfast in general with trying to eat breakfast first thing in the morning when all you want to do is go back to bed... Didn't work, maybe I should try to eat something more boring then "Cheerios"( this is my summer breakfast as Canada doesn't have weet-bix.... NO WEET-A-BIX is not the same, don't even say it!)

Night xx

Dreaming of Breakfast

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada

Currently, I can't sleep, I have been dead tired since I got home from work..yes work YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO WRITE THAT.. I have been craving to really start work and today I did a pretty full day of it, my legs are so tired, and I'm sunburnt (sorry Mum) But to have done a full day doing stuff I love is AWESOME.

Blame Canada insisting it stay as light as midday till near midnight, but I can't sleep, and I'm craving breakfast. But one must sleep to have breakfast. Or do I? Would it be such a bad thing to eat breakfast now..after dinner? I guess its something that has been put into my brain since childhood that breakfast is for morning times. Hmm, I'm an adult I think I'm going to snack on some breakfast, for me, this thought is incredibly exciting and as a child a little scoldable, I don't think my housies are going to scold me for it :D

I really should learn to sleep.