The Self and Doubt

LOCATION: Rocky Mountains, British Columbia, Canada.

Ah, Its that feeling again, you know the one, that feeling of self doubt. Have you ever wanted something so bad, that when you do get it, your first moments are jubilation but then comes that feeling?

You put on a brave face and keep smiling but deep down, you are constantly worrying and over thinking things.

I wanted a job so bad, I got it. Yay Me! But now every second I feel like something is going to happen and it will get taken away from me, I feel as though I don't deserve it or that I'm going to disappoint, maybe I was hired because they thought I was something; then I come along and they are like, What was I thinking??

I'm constantly over thinking things through at work, I may think of doing something or saying something, then I think, maybe I shouldn't then it turns out I should have. Its a constant sick feeling.

I know I will get over the feeling and settle into things, but for now, while that feeling is here I guess I shall just ride the waves and soon I will forget I ever felt this way. My job is amazing and challenging and I feel so honored to be apart of it.

On a brighter note, fllowing up from last post, I did eat breakfast after dinner, I was hoping it would give me that tired feeling, maybe my brain would associate my eating breakfast in general with trying to eat breakfast first thing in the morning when all you want to do is go back to bed... Didn't work, maybe I should try to eat something more boring then "Cheerios"( this is my summer breakfast as Canada doesn't have weet-bix.... NO WEET-A-BIX is not the same, don't even say it!)

Night xx